We all want to be emotionally resilient don’t we? You know, when life throws rocks at us, we’re able to use them as stepping stones, learning opportunities, instead of being buried by them. Those stepping stones that allow us to create better opportunities and swerve the curveballs more often than not in the future.
Emotional resilience – it is this that allows us to be happy most of the hours of all our days.
To build this magical thing called emotional resilience, an essential ingredient is self-awareness. Without self-awareness, emotional resilience is an impossibility, plain and simple. Because without getting to know ourselves, our emotions and our triggers, it is impossible to build the coping mechanisms we need to deal with all the curveballs life throws at us.
Self-awareness brings with it loads of benefits. Here are just a few of them:
Improved decision-making: Self-awareness helps us make more informed and rational decisions by providing a deeper understanding of our own thoughts, feelings, and behaviours.
Better communication: We are better equipped to express our thoughts and emotions clearly and effectively, leading to better communication and stronger relationships.
Increased empathy and compassion: Understanding our own emotions and behaviours can also lead to increased empathy, compassion and understanding towards others, improving social connections and relationships.
Improved personal and professional development: Self-awareness can help us identify areas for improvement, allowing for personal and professional growth and development.
Better stress management: We are better equipped to recognise and manage stressors in our lives, leading to better mental and physical health.
So if you’re ready to get to know yourself better, here are some ways to start your exploration:
Mindfulness
Mindfulness is like having our own Zen garden in our mind. By intentionally focusing on the present moment without judgment, we can cultivate a heightened sense of self-awareness and gain a deeper understanding of our inner experiences.
Through the process of mindfulness, we learn to observe our thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations without getting swept up in them. This helps us develop a more objective understanding of our thought patterns and habits, leading to greater self-awareness and personal growth.
With mindfulness, we can spot patterns and habits that might be holding us back and make conscious choices about how we respond to situations and people in our life. It’s like having our own personal superhero powers to break free from automatic patterns of thought and behaviour and live a more fulfilling life.
Plus, mindfulness can help us tune in to our physical sensations, leading to a greater understanding of our own physical and emotional needs. It’s like getting a cheat sheet to better self-care and well-being, helping us lead a happier, healthier life.
Overall, mindfulness is a powerful tool for building self-awareness and gaining a clearer, more objective perspective on our inner experiences.
When it comes to practicing mindfulness, there are lots of ways to approach it, and the best method can vary from person to person. But no matter how you go about it, here are some general tips to help you build up your self-awareness:
Make time for regular practice: Make it a habit to treat yourself to a mindfulness session each day, even if it’s just for a few minutes. Think of it like giving yourself a mini-vacation to your happy place.
Start with your breath: Take a deep breath and let it all out. Focus on your breath to help ease your way into mindfulness. When your mind starts to wander, gently bring your attention back to your breath, like it’s a soothing lullaby.
Observe without judgment: It’s like people-watching, but for your thoughts and feelings. As you practice mindfulness, notice what comes up without judgment or trying to chase them away. Just let them come and go like clouds passing by.
Bring mindfulness to your everyday activities: Mindfulness is like your favourite accessory, it goes with everything! You can practice it anytime, anywhere, during everyday activities like walking, eating, or even scrolling through your phone. Just focus all of your attention on the present moment and observe your experience without any judgment.
Try guided meditations or mindfulness apps: It’s like having a personal mindfulness coach at your fingertips. If you’re looking for a little extra support, there are tons of guided meditations and mindfulness apps out there that can help guide you through different types of mindfulness exercises.
Reflect on your experiences: After your mindfulness practice, take a little time to reflect on what you noticed. Did you discover anything new? Did you feel a sense of calm or clarity? Reflecting can help deepen your self-awareness and understanding of your inner experiences.
Journaling
Get ready to unleash your inner writer and build some serious self-awareness! Journaling is not only a powerful tool for personal growth, but it can also be a fun and playful way to explore our inner world. By putting our thoughts and experiences down on paper, we can gain clarity and objectivity on what’s going on inside our head. We’re able to spot patterns and habits that might be holding us back and find new perspectives that help us grow.
And the best part? Journaling is a safe and private space to let it all out. We can explore our emotions and process challenging experiences without fear of judgment or criticism.
To really dive deep and build self-awareness through journaling, try writing freely without editing or censoring yourself. Use prompts or questions to help guide your writing and spark your reflection. And make it a regular habit, whether that’s daily, weekly, or whenever you feel like it. With regular practice, you’ll discover new insights about yourself, your values, and your goals. You’ll gain a better understanding of your patterns of thinking and behaviour, and you’ll be able to make more conscious choices about how you want to live your life. So grab a notebook and pen, and let the self-exploration begin!
Getting Comfy with your negative emotions
Getting cozy with our negative emotions can sound really scary. But, by embracing those uncomfortable emotions, we can actually learn a lot about ourselves and build our self-awareness. Let’s start by acknowledging that negative emotions are a natural part of being human. We don’t have to like them, but we can’t just push them away or ignore them either. Instead, let’s get comfy with those negative emotions and use them as an opportunity for personal growth!
To get comfy with our negative emotions, we need to first accept them. That means acknowledging them and giving them a name. If you’re anything like I was when I first started doing this work, it was a struggle just to name my emotions. And this is actually not that unusual. If this is the case for you, Google ‘feelings wheel‘ and you’ll have loads to choose from. Once we’ve identified the emotions, we can dive deeper and explore the root causes of these emotions. Is there a pattern or trigger that keeps bringing them up? Understanding the why behind our emotions can help us address them more effectively.
And last but not least, let’s remember to be kind to ourselves. Practicing self-compassion and self-care can make a world of difference when it comes to coping with negative emotions. So go ahead and get cozy with those feelings – I guarantee that you’ll learn something new about yourself in the process!
Getting feedback from others
Getting feedback from others is a fantastic way to gain new insights and perspectives on ourselves. Think of it like a funhouse mirror – it shows us a reflection of ourselves from a different angle! Feedback can be especially useful when we’re trying to break bad habits or make positive changes in our lives. So don’t be shy – ask a trusted friend or colleague for their thoughts on how you’re doing.
To get feedback from others, it’s important to approach the conversation with an open mind and a willingness to listen. Choose someone you trust and respect, and ask for their honest feedback. It’s important to not get defensive or make excuses for your behaviour. Instead, listen carefully and take their feedback into consideration. Remember, feedback is an opportunity to learn and grow, so try to view it as a gift. Finally, express gratitude to the person for taking the time to provide you with feedback.
Reading
Reading is like a journey into different worlds, and it can help us expand our perspectives and understanding of ourselves and others. By exploring different characters and their experiences, we can gain insights into human nature and develop greater compassion and self-awareness. Reading also exposes us to new ideas and concepts that we may not have considered before, which can challenge our beliefs and broaden our understanding of the world around us. Whether it’s fiction or non-fiction, reading can be a valuable tool for building self-awareness and personal growth.
To use reading to build self-awareness, try choosing books or articles that will challenge your perspectives and offer fresh viewpoints. Reflect on what you’ve read and how it connects with your own experiences and thought patterns. Take notes, jot down your thoughts, and ask yourself questions as you read. It’s also helpful to share what you’ve learned with others and be open to their viewpoints. Remember, don’t rush through the material; take your time to savour and process what you’ve discovered. By approaching reading with a sense of adventure and a thirst for knowledge, you can unlock its full potential as a tool for building self-awareness.
Core Values
Identifying our core values is like creating a treasure map to our heart’s desires! It helps us understand what lights us up, what keeps us going, and what makes life worth living. By pinpointing our values, we can make choices that truly resonate with who we need to be to be happy. This process builds self-awareness by shining a spotlight on what’s most important to us, helping us better understand our priorities and make choices that align with our true self. When we live according to our core values, we’re more likely to feel a sense of purpose and meaning in our life.
To uncover your core values, take some time to reflect on what truly makes your heart sing. What are your guiding principles, and what motivates you to take action? Think back to times when you felt most fulfilled and aligned with who you are, and consider what values were present in those moments. Make a list of these values and prioritise them based on what is most important to you. It can also be helpful to ask for input from friends and family who know you well and can offer a fresh perspective. Once you’ve identified your core values, use them as a compass to guide your choices and actions, and watch as your life takes on new meaning and purpose!
Professional Help
Finding the right therapist, coach, mentor, or group, can be a game-changer! It’s like having a personal cheerleader and guide all in one. Make sure to choose someone you feel comfortable and safe with, someone who you can open up to and share your deepest thoughts and feelings. Don’t be afraid to speak your truth and be vulnerable, as this can help you gain deeper insights into your inner self. Remember, building self-awareness is a journey, and it takes time and effort. So be patient with yourself and trust the process.
The Takeaway
Building your self-awareness comes with a WARNING though. If you’ve had any shit happen in your life, be sure to focus on building some self-compassion before focusing on self-awareness. I would advise this to absolutely anyone focusing on building self-awareness because no matter how much or little shit you’ve had happen in your life, it’s likely to feel painful at times. And so doing this without self-compassion, tends to lead to even more self-criticism, self-judgment, and negative self-talk than what you normally abuse yourself with. This is why, if you’re in any way emotionally or psychologically vulnerable, attempting to build your self-awareness without sufficient self-compassion or professional support, can be detrimental to your mental health and well-being. Without self-compassion, you may also be less likely to reach our for help or support at this time, which is when you will need it most.
But overall, self-awareness is a valuable tool that can improve various aspects of one’s life and relationships with others. So I hope you will take this opportunity to reap the benefits in getting to know yourself better and creating a life as the adventure it can be.
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